Navigating Flying with Parents

Hey, kids. Are you flying with parents or other nutty family members? This is your guide to surviving, and maybe enjoying “Travels with Parents”.

This guide explores what YOU, the traveling kids, can do that will help you bring the fun stuff your parents will forget to remind you to bring, after all, they are forgetful. No?

Are they going to remember to pack your favorite game? You aren’t going to make it easy on them by just telling them which game. No no. You need to make them sweat from the day they planned this family vacation, to the moment you all land on that tarmac and arrive at your destination.

Here are 6 ways you can help your parents fly with dignity:

Choosing a flight

Whether it be Mom or Dad, there is always that one parent that takes it too far with the budget travel. Help keep that cheapskate far far away from the family travel booking department. You want a flight that benefits you and your ability to either run through the airport fueled by sugar or get your beauty sleep just about anywhere, you are a growing young person. Who wants to wake up for a 3 am flight. Flights during nap time or just before bedtime, now that’s more like it. I don’t want my snack schedule messed up.

Ask mom for all your kid freebies, airlines love to give kids free things… like free seat assignments and carry-ons. I can never have too many carry-ons of toys, books, and airport snacks.

Getting comfy on the plane | Seats to Pick

While the seats with no one in front of them have more leg room, I can’t kick anyone, and the armrest doesn’t rise out of the way, so I can’t fight my sister for them, so that won’t work for me. On the other hand, that bassinet baby sitting next to me is probably going to cry when turbulence arrives and it will probably wake me up each and every time.

The middle and window seats are a must. I have to sit in the window, or the middle, or the window. #sorrynotsorry Either way, I’m going to need to pee a hundred times in the next two hours and you’re going to have to get up each time to let me out. Sister will probably have to go toilet too, just not at the same time. #peepeehappens

I know you’re probably going to put my seatbelt back on while I am sleeping, but can we just pretend you aren’t, just for a few minutes. That thing drives me crazy and I can’t turn and whip around like I want to. Speaking of comfortable, I am going to need a few extra pillows. I know what you’re going to say, I am just going to throw them on the floor in the end and probably will never use them, but maybe I will. Maybe, I will use them to keep my arms up and cushion me from the hard armrest. You never know.

Eating and Drinking well | Flying with Parents

Keep it Clean

I don’t know how, or why, but my hands and face will become so sticky and dirty by the time I am ready to sleep, you will wish you brought more wipes. Maybe it was all those snacks that you didn’t see me eating. Or the markers that sister was sucking on while you were drinking your grape-juice, but it’s all over our hands now and I don’t want to mess up my clean clothes. Wait, sister was sucking on markers! I need to yell it as loud as I can so everyone knows, especially the people sleeping!

That cookie on my face? I’m saving it for later

I know you said I’m having a big kid meal like the grown-ups, and normally I would jump at the chance to eat chicken because it’s my favorite thing ever… but that other kid’s Macaroni and Cheese looks even better. Yes, I have never tried it before, and yes I hear you, it’s full of sugar and garbage that I don’t need before bedtime, but come on!! He has one, why can’t I? What do you mean they didn’t bring enough on board? You did register me as a child, didn’t you? So what’s the problem, can’t they count? Oh, I see. They can’t. Ok fair enough, chicken it is then. The dessert is going to be awesome right!? Dessert!!!!??

By the way, I am going to be so hungry and thirsty on this flight, that I am going to go through all of the snacks you packed for me, in about half as much time as you predicted. I don’t know if it’s the dry air or the sheer boredom of it all, but I am getting HANGRY!

This is probably the time where you lay off the grape-juice, mom. You’ve already had two and it’s only been an hour. And I’m definitely gonna be in trouble for making a childhood empty threat of violence, and the “Your stupid” remark. I love you.

Keeping me Sane | OR | Keeping me Less Insane

How exactly are you going to shut me up, keep me calm and respectful in this giant tin can full of strangers? Flying with Parents is hard. They must not sleep because I don’t want them to. I want to watch a movie, thumb through a few of my favorite books, get new stickers and toys for being such a great little helper when my sister tossed her plate across the aisle (true story), we are going to sing a bunch of songs – most of which you don’t know but mindreading is a real thing and I expect you to figure it out quickly.

Going for walks and looking out the window is great too, I guess. I’m not a fan of the way some people are looking at me though. It’s not my fault I’m so damn cute. Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M LOUD, I AM NOT LOUD!!!?

Maybe a few toys can help? Check out Best Travel Toys and Airplane Activities for Babies & Toddlers

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Child’s Guide to Surviving Flying with Parents